Ok so. I don't know if you know this, but the seats on the subway are coveted because they are rumored to have healing powers! It is rumored that they cleanse, renew, and change people's mundane lives into something resplendent and new! And all you have to do is sit in it! That's why everyone runs, leaps, and pushes to get to one.
This morning, I'm minding my business and standing where I always stand on the train platform, because I know from experience where the door will be when the train stops. (Because I'm smart like that.) As the doors open and I begin to walk into the car, a woman who had been standing to my right tries to bogart me and starts shoving into me, shoulder to shoulder as I walk into the train. It's as if she is trying to beat me to the million dollars at the end of the rainbow...
I'm sleep walking but I'm a pretty strong girl so I just keep walking as if it's not happening. There are people trying to get off the train so she shoves past them as well. I think she even tried to push me into someone but like I said, I'm a strong girl so I don't move. Instead, I think she bounced off of me and into a man standing up holding the pole. I heard him say, "Come on, lady!" Meanwhile, I am thinking about doing her physical harm, I'm not going to lie, but then I remember that God is watching me so I continue to ignore her and walk to the other side of the car. She veers off to the right and I guess she shoves some more people because I can hear them exclaiming, "Wow. Good grief! Unbelievable," and so on.
It gets quiet so I guess her temporary insanity subsides. When we get to the next station, many people exit the train, as usual at the downtown Brooklyn station. Many seats became available. I took one and ended up sitting right in front of the pusher, shover, crazy lady. She had done all of that shoving for a seat! It's not right but I almost burst into laughter because she is sitting there with this painful and indignant look on her face, as if her golden seat is not working. She still has wrinkles. She's still got corns on her toes. And whatever was stuck up her behind seems to still be in tact.
Maybe those subway seats are just normal seats and they really don't change lives...
Lesson: Move b* get out the way...? Nah. Just beware. Some people get let out of mental institutions too soon. Maybe the drugs make them think they can take on the world...over a seat? Also, please note: The seats are just normal, dirty subway seats.
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