Ok so. Ever have one of those subway rides, or any public transportation ride, where you don't own it so you can't say anything about the incessant chatter disturbing your peace? If you own the car or plane or whatever, you can tell people what to do. I remember my mom going down the highway and my little brother and I would be in the backseat practicing our beat boxing. I figure she stood as much tongue rolling brrrrrrr, puttering, wickedy wicky and spa-spa-spiggity-ing that she could because she glared in her mirror and, having been quiet the entire road trip, shocked the mess out of us when she yelled something like, "I'm gonna slap the ish outta y'all in a minute!" We stopped abruptly; shocked at this sudden threatening outburst. Then we snickered hysterically. As if she couldn't hear that. (Sidebar: I'm wondering if I really want children. Little needy, but loving, antagonists who never go away...sigh. Yeah, I do.) Ok back to the story. I am sure we worked her nerves! Much like these two high school females worked mine this morning.
I get a seat and am elated to just sit down and close my eyes for the 20 minutes before arriving to work. (BTW, I have a really nice interchangeable synonym for the word, "work" but I just can't use it here.) I sit down and close my eyes and before I can take another breathe, it begins. High pitch voiced girl chatter. "And I was so mad that I couldn't do my homework on the train on the way to school yesterday!!" one said to the other. I wanted to say, "It's called homework for a reason, girlie." But I said nothing and tried to pretend I didn't hear it. I really gotta find time to get that new headset so I can escape all of this noise. But meanwhile, they went on. "Oh no! That sucks!" the other one replied. "Yeah! OMG and...that teacher had the audacity to give us a Spanish Sudoku! I was like what the "h" is this?!" exclaimed the first one. "OMG! NO!" exclaimed the second one. I guess she really didn't have much to contribute. A third one, whom I didn't even notice called the name of the first one and said very quiet and mousy-like, "Weren't we supposed to get off?" She looked like it was her first time on a train. I closed my eyes and tried to focus but for some reason this third piece of the puzzle made it more interesting.
I opened my eyes and looked at the two talkers. All three were pretty but the main talker, the one who didn't understand the concept of doing homework at home, was just adorable. She was one of those lucky girls whose genetic make up allowed her to get through high school with a breeze. She had adorable apple cheeks and beautiful black hair. She was short and dressed in the latest teenage fashion. The talker # 2 girl was alright. You could tell she looked up to talker # 1 girl. But mousy girl looked...well, mousy. It was no wonder the other two blew her off. I wanted to yell, "Get some self esteem and do you, girl!" But I said nothing. I tried to close my eyes and ears to all of it again. The cute, bubbly talker # 1 girl replied to mousy girl with pity in her voice, "It's fine. It'll be okay." and went right back to omgeeing with talker # 2 girl. I felt bad for mousy girl. She sat there uncomfortably fidgeting with her back pack and looking at the other two as if she were about to cry. Now, I've been there (Yes, me! I can't believe it either!) so I know that while she may have looked on the verge of tears, she was probably secretly plotting to become a "J-Lo," a "Lucy Lui," or a "Beyonce" when she grows up. I wanted to lean over and tell her that the world doesn't work that way...even if she turns into Lucy Lui (she was Asian) the other two would still be just as beautiful and this is all to make her stronger and don't hold grudges and every other good thing they write in self help books. As I flashed back to my own experience, I was so annoyed. Instead, I went back to minding my business and soon, their high pitched voices just sounded like a soundtrack in a movie I could ignore.
Finally we get to my stop. I stand up, relieved to get away from the chatter and be allowed to go back into my own head as I walk the 3 1/2 blocks to work. But oh no!! That would have happened in an almost perfect world. But in my world, a much less than perfect world. The little school skipping chatty Cathy's got off the train right behind me and chatted in my ear, up the stairs, and out into the street about clothes and boys. Can you say workin' my nerves? I wanted to turn around and glare at them the way mom had done me and my little bro in the car so long ago. Instead, I stepped to the side and let them pass and get pretty far down the sidewalk. The mousy one tagged along behind. I sighed and went on to work.
Lesson: Americans talk too much. And, buy some headphones already!
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